Thanksgiving weekend

For the first time in the 8 years since he moved to North Carolina, I (we) got to be with my dad on a major holiday!  It was a long time coming and an absolutely fantastic trip.  Despite the fact that we were traveling on Thanksgiving and our flight into Charlotte was delayed about 3+ hours (not doing much to improve my opinion of your airline or customer service Delta) we made it to Dad's by 7pm and just in time for dinner.  Anyone who has traveled with young kids know what I am talking about when I say that we got plenty of dirty looks from people sitting down around us on the plane when they saw Cayden and Harper.  It's a good thing that the drunk lady in front of Jake wasn't talking loud enough for me to hear her rant about drugging my kids with Benadryl if they start to get loud en route.  Little did all of these nasty people know that my kids are pros when it comes to air travel and were incredibly well behaved the WHOLE time!

 

 

 

Part of the reason for our long (6 days away from work = heaven!) vacation in November was to have a holiday together, finally, but also to celebrate a big milestone.  Starting with G&G's 50th anniversary and Harper's 1st birthday this past summer, we have a full year of major milestones in our family including 60th, 50th, 40th, my 30th (YIKES!!!) and 21st birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, etc.  This week was my Dad's 50th birthday.  It was so amazing to get to spend this important day with the first man in my life and the best Pop my kids could possibly have.  We had an amazing time relaxing up in the back-woods of North Carolina, getting to have a true Griswold Thanksgiving weekend (with 12 adults, 2 kids, 6 dogs and a cat all in attendance) and a fantastic birthday for Dad in the mountains! 

 

Cayden was in HEAVEN getting to drive Pop's tractor!  Pop was pretty proud too.




making the trek back to the house from the dock (it's not that far but the hill is pretty steep)




So proud of his acorn and pine cone finds!




The two best uncles any two little kids could have!




Daddy was not impressed that Mommy and Pop dressed the kids in Bears gear when they were playing the Vikings.  I am happy to report that all of our positive vibes helped the Bears wipe the floor with the Vikings!



the most important parenting tool

I feel like when you become a parent, from day one, you start to build this little arsenal of parenting tools and tricks.  Each item in your arsenal is a way to handle certain situations, a way to get your kids to cooperate and behave.  Items will vary depending on the child and the parent, however there is one that almost never fails and that is part of every parents array of tricks.  It is the one secret weapon that any parent can pull out and accomplish what they need to.  BRIBERY!!!

I am sure that I have said this before and I will most likely say it again, but any parent of toddlers and/or young kids who says that they do not have to use bribery with their kids is LYING!  Admit it, bribing your kids with a treat they don't normally get to eat, a toy they want, a trip to the zoo or park, etc. is a sure-fire way to end a meltdown before it is in full swing.  It's a way to get your kids to behave in public, eat their vegetables, pick up their toys, pretty much do anything that we as parents need from our kids every once in a while. 

Here's why it works...your kids rely on you for everything.  They need you to provider them with all of the things that they need (food, clothing, diapers, personal hygiene) but they also need you to get them the things that they want.  Until they reach an age when they can work and earn their own spending money, they need to come to you for trips to places they want to visit, toys that they see on TV and now must have this minute, the chance to watch TV so that they can see all those commercials with toys they think they need, etc. 

It also only works if you are willing to eventually give them what they are asking for.  If you are always promising to give them fruit snacks or M&Ms but never deliver, your kids will figure that out and won't believe you the next time you try and use this amazing and effective tool in your arsenal of parenting tricks. 

If you have really smart kids, like I do.  You may have to learn to be a little sneaky with your bribery.  They may not always come right out and say that they want something that will give you some leverage but they will always drop little hints without even realizing it.  For example, Cayden told me the other day that his red spiderman didn't have the right guy to fight.  Stupid me, I tried suggesting that this particular spiderman could fight one of the many other spiderman guys he currently has spread throughout his bedroom.  Spiderman is BIG in our house right now, in case you hadn't caught on to that part yet.  His response to me "Mommy (said in his 'I am completely annoyed that you would even suggest this' voice), red spidermans can fight each other.  They're friends.  Red spidermans only fight black spidermans."  Then he walked away.  Little did he know that he had just provided me with my newest bribery mechanism.  He wants a black spiderman.  And, thanks to this black spiderman conversation I am anticipating I will have a happy, cooperative little boy for the next few days.  Not only will Cayden behave at the promise of a new toy, we can also use that same item as leverage for good behavior after it is in hand because he now knows he must continue to earn his new toys. 

So, don't be ashamed that you need to use this parenting trick.  Be proud of the fact that you found a way to outsmart your child (even if it is temporary).  Because, at the end of some very long and challenging days, parenting can sometime just be about surviving, about doing what you have to do to make it to the next week, the next day, even the next hour where there is the promise of better, happier kids who will hug you, smile at you and say "I wuv you" in a way that makes your heart melt.

top of the list and NEVER again

Barnes and Noble is officially at the top of my s*#t list.  It's supposed to be a book store.  A nice, quiet place for me to be able to take my kids after having been homebound by a blizzard for 2 days without having to engage in our usual shopping fight about wanting and not buying toys.  Unfortunately, Barnes and Noble has decided that I need to be having this fight with Cayden absolutely everywhere we go and as a result has added a section of expensive toys (mostly trains).  SO NOT COOL!  I get that the toys go along with some of the books but seriously?  SERIOUSLY!?!  Now a nice trip to the book store with my kids quickly turns into a miserable 10 minutes with Harper wanting to get out of my arms and play while Cayden screams and cries the whole way back out of the store because I won't buy him the $30 train car.  Anyone out there who has had a child have a complete meltdown in public knows the kind of dirty looks you get from all of the strangers around you watching the meltdown play out as you threaten to leave the store without them if they don't follow you right this minute.  I swear I am not going to take my kids there again until they are in high school. 

birthday boy

Four years ago today I was sitting in my hospital room looking out at the beautiful city of Grand Forks (note the sarcasm) anxiously awaiting my discharge papers.  I couldn't wait to go home with my newborn baby boy and start our new life as a family of three, not just a married couple.  And when I say I was anxious, I mean it.  This day was following 9 months of pregnancy that included a 60lb weight gain, heartburn that I thought was going to burn a hole through my insides and being out of breath after walking from my office to my car; three weeks of contractions, 21 hours of labor and 24 hours of nurses coming in pushing on, poking and bothering both me and my baby.  I wanted out of there. 

Today, I woke up my now four year old son who seems to have grown and matured overnight.  He is challenging, independent, loving, careful, thoughtful and so incredibly smart.  Every day I feel like he and I grow up a little bit more and my relationship with him becomes more and more special.  The day he was born he gave me the most important and beautiful gift I could have ever received...he made me a mom, the one thing that I never knew I was always meant to be.  For the rest of my life I will do whatever I can to make sure that I do my best with that gift!

Thank you beautiful boy! 

Happy Birthday!!! 

Happy Halloween!!!

I love you more than words could ever say!!!

the end is in sight

After Cayden's first birthday I was told by a number of friends with older children to enjoy my sweet toddler now because the closer he got to age 2, the worse things were going to get.  In these same conversations they also made sure to let me know that the terrible twos were not going to end at 3...they were going to get worse!  YAY, right?  Something to look forward to.  Even though I was holding out hope that our baby boy would be different.  Boy was I wrong!  Cayden got more and more, shall we say, challenging the closer we got to his second birthday and shortly thereafter it was like someone flipped a switch.  He started throwing temper tantrums like we had never seen him do, he stopped listening as well and became even more stubborn than he had been.  And, age 3 was worse because he was older, smarter and much, much more vocal than he had been. 

The good news that had been given to me at the same time as my warning to brace myself for the terrible twos and horrific threes was that it comes to end at age 4 and that my sweet little boy will return once again.  After we hit age 2 and saw what kind of a world we would be living in the next few years, I was more than a little sceptical that 4 would be any kinds of a turning point.  Fortunately for us, as we inch closer and closer to Cayden's fourth birthday he is becoming the sweetest, kindest, most helpful child EVER.  Although still stubborn and challenging at times, I can't seem to get enough of my wonderful little man who watches out for his sister, makes sure to hug and kiss her goodnight (every night) and does whatever he can to help Mommy with pretty much everything! 

So for everyone out there who has a kid (or two) in the middle of the terrible 2s/horrific 3s or who hasn't had kids yet and don't know what's coming, there is hope and a light at the end of this difficult tunnel!

the great debate

No, I am not talking about last week's presidential debate or last night's vice presidential debate.  I am referring to the one that goes on between Jake and I every time anyone asks us if we are having any more kids and when.  I know that this debate is not a new one and is certainly not unique to us but it's one that I think about a often, especially when I start going through the kids' closets and dressers removing everything that they have grown out of and replacing it with new, season appropriate clothing that they will soon grow out of.  Everything gets carefully packed away in color coordinated totes (blue and gray for Cayden/pink and purple for Harper) and stacked in the basement along side the infant swing, the play mat, the bumbo chair, etc.  The fact that we have a boy and a girl now just makes this whole process all the more difficult.  Harper can't wear Cayden's hand-me-downs (OK, there are probably some things that are unisex but come on...who are we kidding?) and why would I want to give anything away when we don't know if our next one will be a boy or girl.  I need to keep it all just in case.

Yes, I did say "the next one."  You caught that, huh?  Here's where the real debate lies.  I have always wanted to have lots of kids.  Pre-having-my-own-kids I thought 4 was a good, even number.  Four kids could be easily handled and if you have them somewhat close together there wouldn't be a huge age difference between the oldest and the youngest especially if the in the middle were twins like I always thought they would be...like I said, this was pre-kids.  Jake, on the other hand, has always said let's have one, see how that goes and then maybe have a second one.  He thinks we are done.  Even though I now think that I would have to keep a room for myself reserved in the loony bin if I had 4 kids (especially if any of those 4 were twins...I mean seriously, two at a time!).  In my mind, this means that I am willing to compromise on the number of kids I would like to have so he should be able to compromise on his idea of two and we will meet in the middle at 3.  Three would be good.  I can handle three and I have a plan (yes, a plan for when to have babies) all worked out in my head as to how to manage the timing and spacing in age between Harper and our last and BONUS - I would be able to get rid of one whole stack of totes.  Of course, when and if the time comes (and let's face it, the time will come because I think we can all agree who will win this debate in the end) I am not sure I will be ready to part with the great stack of stuff that my kids once wore and loved. 

life as a (temporary) single parent

Last Saturday Jake left for Dallas for 4 days.  Even though it was for work it still seemed like it was payback for me being gone for 4 days two weeks prior.  We were each forced into life as a single parent.  I called Jake one day while I was gone to see how things were going and as soon as he picked up the phone I heard both kids screaming and both dogs barking in the background.  I didn't even need to ask!  But, he survived and in the end I think that they had an OK week.  It's good for everyone to have them spend that time together without me and for the kids to only have Daddy to go to for a little while. 

While Jake was gone, the kids and I had a good weekend.  We stayed busy, they helped Mommy clean and shop and got to play at Grandma's house for a while.  Now, last year after Harper was born I was a single parent 5 days a week while Jake was in Bismarck working and I can honestly say that I do not know if it was more difficult to be alone now with the kids being a toddler and a preschooler than it was with a toddler and an infant.  Although it does give me great personal satisfaction to know that I can handle things (and by things I mean kids, dogs, work, busy mornings, cleaning house, etc) on my own, those 4 days made me so incredibly grateful that I don't have to do it all on my own. 



Look Mom...we found a fun new hiding place at Grandma's house!



 

She really is 15 months going on 15.  I can't believe how old she looks in this picture!