I feel like when you become a parent, from day one, you start to build this little arsenal of parenting tools and tricks. Each item in your arsenal is a way to handle certain situations, a way to get your kids to cooperate and behave. Items will vary depending on the child and the parent, however there is one that almost never fails and that is part of every parents array of tricks. It is the one secret weapon that any parent can pull out and accomplish what they need to. BRIBERY!!!
I am sure that I have said this before and I will most likely say it again, but any parent of toddlers and/or young kids who says that they do not have to use bribery with their kids is LYING! Admit it, bribing your kids with a treat they don't normally get to eat, a toy they want, a trip to the zoo or park, etc. is a sure-fire way to end a meltdown before it is in full swing. It's a way to get your kids to behave in public, eat their vegetables, pick up their toys, pretty much do anything that we as parents need from our kids every once in a while.
Here's why it works...your kids rely on you for everything. They need you to provider them with all of the things that they need (food, clothing, diapers, personal hygiene) but they also need you to get them the things that they want. Until they reach an age when they can work and earn their own spending money, they need to come to you for trips to places they want to visit, toys that they see on TV and now must have this minute, the chance to watch TV so that they can see all those commercials with toys they think they need, etc.
It also only works if you are willing to eventually give them what they are asking for. If you are always promising to give them fruit snacks or M&Ms but never deliver, your kids will figure that out and won't believe you the next time you try and use this amazing and effective tool in your arsenal of parenting tricks.
If you have really smart kids, like I do. You may have to learn to be a little sneaky with your bribery. They may not always come right out and say that they want something that will give you some leverage but they will always drop little hints without even realizing it. For example, Cayden told me the other day that his red spiderman didn't have the right guy to fight. Stupid me, I tried suggesting that this particular spiderman could fight one of the many other spiderman guys he currently has spread throughout his bedroom. Spiderman is BIG in our house right now, in case you hadn't caught on to that part yet. His response to me "Mommy (said in his 'I am completely annoyed that you would even suggest this' voice), red spidermans can fight each other. They're friends. Red spidermans only fight black spidermans." Then he walked away. Little did he know that he had just provided me with my newest bribery mechanism. He wants a black spiderman. And, thanks to this black spiderman conversation I am anticipating I will have a happy, cooperative little boy for the next few days. Not only will Cayden behave at the promise of a new toy, we can also use that same item as leverage for good behavior after it is in hand because he now knows he must continue to earn his new toys.
So, don't be ashamed that you need to use this parenting trick. Be proud of the fact that you found a way to outsmart your child (even if it is temporary). Because, at the end of some very long and challenging days, parenting can sometime just be about surviving, about doing what you have to do to make it to the next week, the next day, even the next hour where there is the promise of better, happier kids who will hug you, smile at you and say "I wuv you" in a way that makes your heart melt.
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