the end is in sight

After Cayden's first birthday I was told by a number of friends with older children to enjoy my sweet toddler now because the closer he got to age 2, the worse things were going to get.  In these same conversations they also made sure to let me know that the terrible twos were not going to end at 3...they were going to get worse!  YAY, right?  Something to look forward to.  Even though I was holding out hope that our baby boy would be different.  Boy was I wrong!  Cayden got more and more, shall we say, challenging the closer we got to his second birthday and shortly thereafter it was like someone flipped a switch.  He started throwing temper tantrums like we had never seen him do, he stopped listening as well and became even more stubborn than he had been.  And, age 3 was worse because he was older, smarter and much, much more vocal than he had been. 

The good news that had been given to me at the same time as my warning to brace myself for the terrible twos and horrific threes was that it comes to end at age 4 and that my sweet little boy will return once again.  After we hit age 2 and saw what kind of a world we would be living in the next few years, I was more than a little sceptical that 4 would be any kinds of a turning point.  Fortunately for us, as we inch closer and closer to Cayden's fourth birthday he is becoming the sweetest, kindest, most helpful child EVER.  Although still stubborn and challenging at times, I can't seem to get enough of my wonderful little man who watches out for his sister, makes sure to hug and kiss her goodnight (every night) and does whatever he can to help Mommy with pretty much everything! 

So for everyone out there who has a kid (or two) in the middle of the terrible 2s/horrific 3s or who hasn't had kids yet and don't know what's coming, there is hope and a light at the end of this difficult tunnel!

the great debate

No, I am not talking about last week's presidential debate or last night's vice presidential debate.  I am referring to the one that goes on between Jake and I every time anyone asks us if we are having any more kids and when.  I know that this debate is not a new one and is certainly not unique to us but it's one that I think about a often, especially when I start going through the kids' closets and dressers removing everything that they have grown out of and replacing it with new, season appropriate clothing that they will soon grow out of.  Everything gets carefully packed away in color coordinated totes (blue and gray for Cayden/pink and purple for Harper) and stacked in the basement along side the infant swing, the play mat, the bumbo chair, etc.  The fact that we have a boy and a girl now just makes this whole process all the more difficult.  Harper can't wear Cayden's hand-me-downs (OK, there are probably some things that are unisex but come on...who are we kidding?) and why would I want to give anything away when we don't know if our next one will be a boy or girl.  I need to keep it all just in case.

Yes, I did say "the next one."  You caught that, huh?  Here's where the real debate lies.  I have always wanted to have lots of kids.  Pre-having-my-own-kids I thought 4 was a good, even number.  Four kids could be easily handled and if you have them somewhat close together there wouldn't be a huge age difference between the oldest and the youngest especially if the in the middle were twins like I always thought they would be...like I said, this was pre-kids.  Jake, on the other hand, has always said let's have one, see how that goes and then maybe have a second one.  He thinks we are done.  Even though I now think that I would have to keep a room for myself reserved in the loony bin if I had 4 kids (especially if any of those 4 were twins...I mean seriously, two at a time!).  In my mind, this means that I am willing to compromise on the number of kids I would like to have so he should be able to compromise on his idea of two and we will meet in the middle at 3.  Three would be good.  I can handle three and I have a plan (yes, a plan for when to have babies) all worked out in my head as to how to manage the timing and spacing in age between Harper and our last and BONUS - I would be able to get rid of one whole stack of totes.  Of course, when and if the time comes (and let's face it, the time will come because I think we can all agree who will win this debate in the end) I am not sure I will be ready to part with the great stack of stuff that my kids once wore and loved. 

life as a (temporary) single parent

Last Saturday Jake left for Dallas for 4 days.  Even though it was for work it still seemed like it was payback for me being gone for 4 days two weeks prior.  We were each forced into life as a single parent.  I called Jake one day while I was gone to see how things were going and as soon as he picked up the phone I heard both kids screaming and both dogs barking in the background.  I didn't even need to ask!  But, he survived and in the end I think that they had an OK week.  It's good for everyone to have them spend that time together without me and for the kids to only have Daddy to go to for a little while. 

While Jake was gone, the kids and I had a good weekend.  We stayed busy, they helped Mommy clean and shop and got to play at Grandma's house for a while.  Now, last year after Harper was born I was a single parent 5 days a week while Jake was in Bismarck working and I can honestly say that I do not know if it was more difficult to be alone now with the kids being a toddler and a preschooler than it was with a toddler and an infant.  Although it does give me great personal satisfaction to know that I can handle things (and by things I mean kids, dogs, work, busy mornings, cleaning house, etc) on my own, those 4 days made me so incredibly grateful that I don't have to do it all on my own. 



Look Mom...we found a fun new hiding place at Grandma's house!



 

She really is 15 months going on 15.  I can't believe how old she looks in this picture!